From the Pen of Pastor Ted Haggard...
November 05, 2006

It's no small secret that much of an author's writing is drawn from the deeper recesses of their soul; the things they have on their minds, in their hearts, even ponder in moments of private contemplation, tend to come out rather explicitly in their writings. Oftentimes it's the only place it can.

I wondered then what a power mad, homophobic, self-loathing, evolution denying, Christian preacher would scribble when alone in a private hotel room. What would the recently disgraced Pastor Ted draw forth from the still, quiet places, deep inside?

Shockingly, it wasn't a personals add -- it seems he answers those in hotel rooms -- but something else, something queerly different: He writes a self-help diet and exercise book. Yup. "The Jerusalem Diet" a handy guide to not just looking good and feeling great, but in looking good and feel great the Jesus way (as channeled by Ted.) So what solutions does Ted impart? What does he say you need to do in order to have a healthy, happy, and wonderful life?

Eat plenty of fruits and nuts.

No, I didn't make that up.

Curious, I did a little more Amazon searching and found some of Ted's other books. Because everyone is pressed for time, and since I read so very, very fast, I took the liberty to summarize, briefly, what his more popular books are about.

"Taking it To the Streets", Ted's history of the Stonewall Riots.

"The Pursuit of the Good Life:" How to have it all: Money. Influence. Power. Women. Men.

"Letters from Home:"An excerpt of which begins "Dear Dad, What am I supposed to tell Mom about your visits to Uncle Mike the Masseuse again?"

"Loving Your City into the Kingdom of Heaven". Frankly, I was confused by this one. I got the impression that "Loving" and "into the Kingdom of Heaven" meant something very, very different to Ted than to me. I also think he was using "City" as a unit of measurement. Strange boy that Teddy.

Okay, okay. You caught me. I didn't really read those books. I have no idea what's actually in them. I'm just assuming that books written by a closeted 'Mo would, in retrospect, show the influence of his repressed desires on not just the choice of topics, but the situations he'd draw from in addressing them.

Not possible you say?

Well, consider this. Given the twinkfest that comprises his senior, pastoral staff can is it really surprising to find out that he contributed a section to "Cultivating Solid Staff Relationships? "

Fruits and nuts, indeed.

Posted by Jody at November 5, 2006 08:52 PM

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