Victims...
December 08, 2002

Some words about�Victims by my favorite psychiatrist, Sheldon Kopp's "The End of Innocence:"

The victim is far more dangerous than the powerful, responsibility-burdened caretaker. Beware the helplessness gambit of the chronic victim! Some people typically get out from under their own responsibilities (in which they would otherwise have to take care of themselves) by acting helpless and weak in order to invite others to do it for them.

If the other person does not respond, then he is accused of being cruel and unfeeling. But should he arrogantly take on the role of caretaker, then the helpless one will soon hold him in contempt as being a weak fool, and what he offers will be returned as somehow not good enough. In the long run the helper is made to feel helpless. Finally the victim is in the power position (though he has won nothing but the degrading imposition of his will by playing through weakness) or failing that, he settles for the spiteful sense of having been able to keep the other from having his way.

Posted by Jody at December 8, 2002 01:58 AM

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