Kids, Sex and those guys
April 03, 2002
Kids, Sex and those guys in the long black cassocks� IV
If you are worried about sex, about the age that young people first do jump in the sack, which is something that does concern me given the number of young women I�ve had on my caseload with babies or abortions, you have to wonder why it is that among our fellow first world industrialized nations, we have the highest rates of teenage STDs, pregnancies and abortions, the earliest ages of first sexual contact and the highest number of sexual partners before age 18.
It can�t be �the media� as is so often bandied about. All things being equal, our neighbors to the north have roughly the same pop culture we do, generally the same freedoms and responsibilities, and a pretty common standard of living relative to us. Yet Canadian teens wait longer, use more protection, don�t have as many abortions and have lower STD rates than we do. Jump over the pond and you find the English best us again. France, Germany and the Netherlands do as well.
And it can�t be the age of consent because we have some of the highest legal levels in the world and it doesn�t seem to make a difference on what goes on. In the country with the lowest and least restrictive age of consent law, The Netherlands where, depending on conditions and situations, consent runs between 12 and 14, teens wait longer than any where else.
�So let�s just throw open the doors and let kindergartners go out on �dates� with 40 year olds, right?�
No, far from it.
On every level, from schooling, to health, to laws and with regards to attitudes, the rest of the industrialized world treats teens as a resource, as inexperienced, though eager adults, to be supported in their choices and not jacked into the out of site, out of mind role that we constantly cram ours into. There are job programs available in large numbers for young men and women to get decent work well before the age of 18. Young people are told from day one the facts of life, with out shadings and rules about what can and can�t be discussed. Healthcare meets them at their level and keeps them on track to better health. In short, they aren�t treated like kids, or even consumers, but as young adults, needing progressively less guidance and more support as they grow.
There is an excessively small group of folks with a terribly narrow world view that have shanghaied sexuality education away from reality and towards educational goals that are both laughable and criminal. Abstinence-only education, a program that has cost us $100 million dollars with no positive results that can be demonstrated anywhere other than in the fantasyland of its proponents, continues to suck up money, time and resources that could be better spent on honest education, support and health services.
We have incredible difficulties in the United States in talking not just about sex but about the realities of lives for teenagers. Out of site and out of mind tends to be the mantra, followed by outrage and astonishment when 16 or 17 year olds are found to be anything other than dumb kids.
We deny sexuality education, and are surprised when a young person gets pregnant or doesn�t know that just because a guy with a collar tells you to have sex with him, you don�t have to do it.
Or hey, when they say they�re gay, they wanted to have sex and they found a less than scrupulous priest (or coach, or teacher or�) who was more than happy to oblige, we think the scandal was because there were gay priests in the church in the first place. We don�t talk about the fact that if we�d been talking about The Facts, perhaps much of this wouldn�t have occurred.
We send every teen out now for a drug test, whether they have a problem or not, just because they are young and �we all know how kids are.�
Instead of making a place for young adults in society, giving them options, shifting more and more responsibility their way and also holding them accountable for their actions, we just wait and hope that they won�t give us any problems until they are 18 or 21 and out on their own.
We really, really need to do things differently.
Posted by Jody at April 3, 2002 02:41 PM